Tuesday, March 5, 2013

It's already March!

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time seems to slip away these days. I just want to capture each moment but they're flying by with rapid pace.

January was all in all fairly uneventful. I quit working at the restaurant after 2.5 years. It was time. I miss my friends, Marco, and the customers, but all good things come to an end. The boys got back in the groove of school. Baby Girl is off to the races now that she can walk. Sihe's getting a mouth full of teeth too!

February was busy. Every February is busy. We celebrate our anniversary, Valentine's, an My Wonderful Husband's birthday in February. We also celebrate my nephew's birthday. Throw in 3 kids and all their events and the month sails on by! The highlights included running my first 5k - The Mercedes Superhero 5k on Feb 16th. I have to say that was an awesome rush! I cannot wait to do another one! Another highlight was Valentine's day; that amazing man I married made me the most delicious vegetarian gourmet meal! It was portobello mushroom ravioli with an eggplant/goat cheese/fresh basil topping. Delicious is a sub-par word for the delicately complex flavors and textures. He doesn't cook for me often but when he does he knocks it out of the park. I'm blessed with a very thoughtful man. For our Anniversary we went on the Red Mountain zip tour! It was fun (and a little scary) but mostly it was fun. I smiled a lot and screamed like a girl a couple of times, but it was a wonderful adventure to share on a very special day. As we ate dinner as a family on our anniversary night with all three children present the noise level went up and as husband and I locked eyes we smiled - a toast to us and the blessed life we have. We also had a real date night to celebrate our anniversary. We went to GianMarco's in Homewood. It was amazing! Amazing! And Amazing!

Now we're 5 days into March. Day 1 was a very interesting interview followed by dinner with friends we hadn't seen in a while. Day two I discovered my baby is now a toddler. It seemed every time i cleaned up one mess (including applesauce in the air vent) there was another mess to clean (cup of milk from spill proof cup all over floor). Day 2 was frustrating, however Baby wasn't feeling 100% so she also spent lots of time loving on Mommy and thats the best feeling in the world! I do wish she'd have felt better though. Day 3 was a wonderful family day where Daddy and Mommy were able to focus on Baby Girl. Day 4 the boys were back home from the weekend with their mother. Today we had two social worker visits and I had a follow-up interview. Both social workers reiterated how they are just really ready for this to move forward into a TPR and adoption but the courts at slow. I dream of that day when I Can call her Forever. She is forever now though - forever my daughter and my heart. The second interview today was quite possibly the best interview I've ever been on; I think it makes a difference that I wasn't sure I wanted the job I was being interviewed for, but the company president wants to talk about another position!! Wow! Now that's what I call exciting!

Later this month I've scheduled my tattoo appointment. On Baby J's birthday I'll get my mark for her. A tattoo is a scar. She left a beautiful scar on my heart and I want everyone to see it. I miss her a lot right now. It's kind of crazy I think. She left at 4-months old and this month will mark her 1-year birthday. I haven't seen my sweet giggle monster in over 7months. I've been waking thinking of her, wondering how big she is now, does she walk or talk? I know it's because her birthday is approaching. I'm hoping the tattoo will be my little ceremony to bring some closure. I miss you still, Baby J.

Eventually I'll get my tattoo for Baby Girl on the opposite side to balance out Baby J's mark. I have in my head what I want for her, but I'm thinking around 'Gotcha Day' will be more appropriate.

I am so blessed. A mother with no children and yet I am blessed to be (step)mom to two little boys that I've had the privilege of watching grow since they were so very young, I have my daughter to be Baby Girl the Love of my Life, and I was blessed to be Baby J's mom for her first four months. I've carried none, but I have been honored to care for and love so many thus far.

Thank you God for my four children, my thoughtful giving husband, and this beautiful life you give me each day. I am astounded at your grace and mercy. I am thankful for each breath, each smile, and even for cleaning applesauce from the vent.

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